


what its like to be healed

by jacinda2015



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Body Modification, Body Worship, F/M, Falling In Love, I Don't Even Know, Love Confessions, Multi, OT3, Oral Sex, Please Don't Kill Me, Sexual Content, Slow Build, there will be sex i promise
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-27
Updated: 2013-03-30
Packaged: 2017-12-06 17:25:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,462
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/738217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jacinda2015/pseuds/jacinda2015
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>love is something that even jacinda a prodigy cant understand</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. that damn doorbell

Look I’m not gonna lie, I’m not a morning person. I never have been. I never will be. So it was not surprising that I woke up pissed because some idiot was ringing my friggin doorbell like there was no tomorrow.  
I rolled out of bed and stumbled downstairs. I looked through the peep hole in the door and saw this guy. WHO WAS STILL RINGING THE FRIGGIN DOOR BELL. I figured it was just these guys doing a dare because he had some of his friends with him. Normally I would just leave them there but I was pissed because I was tired.  
So me being my usual grumpy morning person self I snapped the door open and enjoyed the look of surprise that was on their faces and I even got a chuckle when doorbell guy stumbled backwards into his friends. That’s what they get for being so friggin happy in the morning.  
"Where you aiming at waking the children in china because I’m quite sure that they heard you" I asked angrily  
Then doorbell guy had the nerve to say  
"I was actually"  
I was going to yell him but doorbell guy’s friends were snickering at me.  
"What" I asked them. My angry rant was pushed aside.  
The one with blonde hair was completely red in the face. He glanced at me flushed even more red and looked back at the ground.  
Then the boy with stubble and black hair said "um well, to put it frankly you, um, you don’t have any clothes on....." he trailed off  
I looked down at my body. He was right I wasn’t wearing any clothes. There was nothing kinky going on I just didn’t like to sleep with clothes on it was uncomfortable and even if I tried they ended up coming off anyway.  
I looked at the coat rack but there was nothing there but there was a white piece of cloth on the floor. I bent down, ignoring the feeling of the guys staring at my butt, and picked it up. I shook it out and inspected it. It was my Marilyn Monroe shirt. I slipped it over my head and looked down. You could still see my red lace bra but whatever a shirt is better than no clothes at all. "What can I do for you now that I’m clothed" I looked at my bare legs "well partially clothed anyway"  
The boy that had started all the snickering looked at me. For a moment I was distracted by his flawless hair and beautiful green eyes. He gave me a "once over" that sent tingles down my spine. Dear God....  
"We were looking for Simon, but we can see he is.... preoccupied" the boys all laughed at his comment.  
"Simon probably came when I was sleeping." I mused putting emphasis on the I.   
I rolled my eyes and gestured for them to follow me into the foyer. I looked up to the banister of the stairs that faced the foyer and yelled “Simon!!!!"  
“Hey she is louder than you, Lou!" I heard one of them say   
“I heard that" I said not bothering to turn around. I told them to put their coats on the coat rack.   
I tapped my foot still looking up at the banister. He might be sleeping I thought to myself. Simon had been coming over a lot more now that one direction had really started smashing the industry. He was always working. Working too much if you asked me. I was deep I thought when I heard a door from upstairs open. Simon stumbled to the banister and said   
"Jacinda! Did you call me.... oh I see you already met one direction! Hello boys" he grinned as he ran his hands through his hair.  
"Yeah I called you this boys wanted to... holy crap!" I shrieked  
"There she goes" Louis said.  
"It was nice while it lasted" niall said as I spazzed and spluttered.  
I was freaking out in the worst way because I was getting light headed. The room was slowly getting dark. The last thing I remember was niall rushing ward to catch me before the comforting hands of darkness enveloped me.


	2. hot guys invade my house

I had a pounding headache when I finally came to. I hadn’t eaten in two days. I guess my body said it had had enough. When I opened my eyes I saw Simon hovering over me.  
“Jacinda!” he exclaimed pulling me into a hug.  
“ouch ouch" I said hugging him back.” I have a killer headache”  
” here take this” harry said as he handed me some aspirin and a glass of water. As I took them I looked around to see that they had put me on the island of my kitchen. What the…  
“Umm I know you guys are worried and stuff I just need to eat something.” I giggled” but it seems that you already had that in mind”  
I hopped off the island but I wobbled a little and niall held my hand until I regained my balance.  
“I don’t know maybe you should go lay down” Simon said worriedly.  
“Simon I haven’t eaten in 2 days. I just need to eat and I will be fine.” I told him sternly  
“Two days!!!” they all exclaimed. While they were spazzing out me was hungry. Aint nobody got time for that I thought to myself. I started pulling things out of the fridge ignoring Simons rant about healthy eating. I wanted French toast. I was reaching for a bowl when Simon grabbed my arms and made me look at him.  
“You’re not starving yourself, are you? You’re beautiful the way you are. Did someone-“  
“Simon” I said cutting him off” no I’m not starving myself. I had a photo shoot on Wednesday and then I had an order that needed to finish for today. I haven’t stopped working until I was finished and got the order sent off. Then I went straight to bed.”  
“Oh” he said “letting go of my arms. I turned back to the cabinet and grabbed a bowl. For a while it was quiet as I started to make the egg mixture for French toast. I grabbed a baguette and started slicing it. I turned to the boys and asked how many pieces they wanted.  
“Two pieces please” Liam said  
"same” zayn said quietly  
“Can I have four pieces please!!!!!” niall asked eagerly  
“niall you’re gonna get fat!” harry said as he poked niall's tummy” can I have 2 pieces please?” he asked with a flirty smile.  
“TWO PIECES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Louis yelled. Causing us to all jump. I shook my head at him. I honestly don’t understand how he can be so quiet and be so loud in t minus no seconds  
After the guys had finished devouring the French toast I had made I asked Simon why the boys were here.  
“Not that I’m complaining. I just want to know why the five most famous guys just showed up at my house” I explained  
“This is your house?” harry asked me surprised  
“Yeah” I replied looking at him curiously. Deciphering nothing from his thoughtful expression I turned back to Simon who had just shoved more French toast in his face.  
“Why are the boys here” I repeated my question narrowing my eyes at him sensing that he wasn’t telling me something.  
“UNCLE SIMY LOVES US SOOOOOOOO MUCH THAT HE WANTED TO HANG OUT WITH US TODAY” Louis yelled  
“Boy my kitchen is big but it aint that big! There is no reason to be yelling the way you are!” I told him sternly.  
“Ooh going cowboy are we?” Simon asked mockingly. I told him to shut up and punched him in the shoulder.  
“We came to visit Simon but meeting you was just a pleasant surprise. We didn’t come with the intention of messing with you. Honest” zayn said with an impish smile  
“But it’s so much fun” niall mumbled. I looked at him sharply and raised my eyebrow as he met my gaze. He blushed and looked at the counter realizing that I heard him.  
“Speaking of hanging out with the boys. Jacinda I need a favor.” Simon asked tentatively. Simon isn’t normally tentative with anything unless he was about to ask me to do something that I didn’t want to do.  
“What type of favor?” I asked him warily  
“Well I was fully prepared to hang out with the boys today but…” he trailed off.  
“But?” I asked him relentlessly refusing to go with his convincing tactics.  
” I got a call from the office and I need to do a conference call and that will take a few hours so I was thinking you could hang out with the boys while I get everything taken care of” he said quickly  
“no. no. absolutely not!” I said looking away from his puppy dog eyes” I have things I have to do today you invited them over you entertain them!”  
“Please Jacinda 3 hours!! That’s all I need I swear” Simon pleaded grabbing my arm as I tried to back away.  
I looked at the boys. Harry zayn and Louis smiled at me innocently.  
“No!” I exclaimed” my friends are coming over and I have things I need to do! Besides I am not staying in the same room with harry zayn and Louis together!!! They make bad things happen!! Bad things!!!”  
“Your friends are coming over?” Simon asked eagerly “that’s perfect! You can all hang out together!” he said backing at of the room  
“Simon the girls aren’t going to be here for another hour!! Don’t leave me alone with them!!” I tried to tell him but was only answered by the closing of his door.  
I looked over my shoulder and saw all 5 of the boys grinning mischievously at me. God what have gotten myself into I thought to myself as I made my way to me room to pull some clothes on.


	3. Chapter 3

I walked to Simons door and listened to see if he was really taking a work call or if he was putting this form of torture upon me on purpose. I opened his door slightly and heard him talking  
"- no I think she is a great choice. She is responsible and I whole-heartedly back her for this position." he said his voice changing into the firm voice of an A&R executive  
"But Simon she hasn’t had any experience as a representative and-"  
Simon cut the person off.  
"She has my support and i personally recommend her for this position." he said slowly putting his growing irritation in his words.  
I quietly closed the door to turn and bump into the grinning group of boys that had been watching me eavesdrop.  
"Holy crap! I could have died!" I whisper yelled.  
"Someone is being a naughty girl" harry said with the smirk that made millions of girls swoon, me included.  
I pushed my inner hysterical fan girl to the side and shushed him. I gestured to them to follow me up the stairs to my room.  
To be honest, I’m a rich girl. I’m not preppy. I don’t flaunt it into people’s faces. I work hard for the things that I have. I also fully recognize that I am blessed and I thank God every day those things have been well off for me. I bought my house by myself and I didn’t have to pull the "I’m daddy’s little girl face" to get it. I remodeled the house to my needs and my wants, my room especially. My room is that one place where it’s truly peaceful and I love it.  
My room is at the top floor of my house. I took down all of the walls so that it is an open space only broken by my furniture. The ceiling of my room is a painted view of the night sky. The floor was a warm wood color that made my room feel more like me. Two walls were taken out to be replaced with floor to ceiling windows. You could see the sun rising in the east.  
"Wow" I heard one of the boys say. I pulled my eyes away from the fantastic view to see them slowly walking around my room.  
"It did" I said "but it was worth it, right?"  
"It’s probably the most beautiful thing I have seen" zayn said quietly. He had joined Louis on the floor.  
"This is amazing Jacinda how did you do this?" Louis exclaimed. I giggled before answering because he had sprawled out on the floor.  
"I set up a projector and me and my friends went on a platform to paint it." I told him proudly.  
"That most have taken ages!" niall   
"You guys want to see something cool?" I asked not keeping the excitement out of my voice.  
"Yeah sure" they said from the floor.  
I sprinted over to the wall and pressed the button to pull the metal blinds over the windows, slowly encasing the room in darkness. I pressed the button that said 'stars' and made my way back to where the boys sat. They all gasped and wowed at it. The ceiling was lit up to match the stars to give you the feeling that you were truly outside and surrounded by the night sky. We all just laid there quietly enjoying the beautiful sight before your eyes.  
after 20 minutes of pointing out constellations i heard my phone start to ring. i got up of the floor and stepped over harry to walk over to my bed. i picked up the phone and answered it.  
"buddy the elf whats your favorite color?" i asked jokingly  
i heard the girls laugh in the background.  
"we are gonna be there in a hour and thirty minutes" athelia said. i giggled and and told them that i would get things ready for them when they came.  
"who ya talkin' to?" liam asked me.  
i told him about my friends that were coming over and how they would help me contain order while they were here.  
"alright im going to change and then im going to bring you to my studio and you in the watch room while i practice." i told them as i walked over to my drawers. i grabbed spankies and i tank top and i brought some yoga pants too, just for good measure. i dont know whats wrong with me but i have a thing for yoga pants. i just love them. on my way to the changing screen i had set up i dropped the spankies and before i could pick them up niall grabbed them.  
"give them back niall!" i squeeled. niall horan. touching my spankies. dear Lord up i heaven....  
he backed away from me examining my spankies which unfortunately happened to be the pair the said 'kiss it' across the butt  
"oh naughty naughty!" he taunted showing them to harry, who grinned at the phrase. i tried to take them back but harry tossed them to niall.  
"whats the point of wearing these undies if you already have some on." niall said drawing attention back to my lack of pants.  
"they are for dancing and they arent underwear they are really short shorts and niall give them back!" i said but he had already tossed them back to harry. isuddenly i had an idea. i turned and crossed my arms and pouted. harry tossed them back to niall before seeing my expression.  
"come on jacinda dont you want them back" he taunted again  
i still pouted not looking at either of them. harry walked over to me.  
"il make you a deal if you can jump and grab them then we will give them back." he said raising his arm above his head and shaking them.  
i looked at his hand that held my spankies. i was 5'3" and harry had at least 7 inches on me. i made itlook like i was reaching toward his hand as i discreetly placed my foot behind his and used my other hand to push him over so he tripped.  
i grabbed the sp[ankies and ruffled his hair as i went to pick up my clothes off the floor to change smiling slightly at the roaring laughter of the boys.  
so i obviously was quietly fangirling at the fact that i had just touched harrys hair. hary. harry as in harry styles. you know the one that everyone calls a cup cake. do you know how many times i sat on my laptop looking at pictures of him and screaming that he was a stupid cupcake who wouldnt love me!?too many gosh darned feels...i thought to myself as i pulled my shirt over my headand put the tank top on before i pulled it on again. i pulled the spankies giggling at the fact that they had been touched by harry styles AND niall horan. i heard liam showing zayn something when i pulled my yoga pants on. i looked around the screen to see liam holding the teddy bears that were on my bed.  
when i turned 17 my best friends had made me one direction teddy bears. the had the shoes they wore and harry bear had a blazer. they are so cute and i sleep with them much to my added nerdiness. i squeeled and grabbed harry bear out of liams hand.  
"dont touch my harry bear!" i scolded him holding harry bear to my chest. i cooed at him and straightened his blazer.  
niall and harry had walked over from the windows to come over to see what the commotion was about.  
"what did you do her liam" niall said poking liam in the ribs. liam rubbed his tummy.  
"ouch niall! i didnt do anything except touch her harry bear!" he said smirking at me.  
"she has a harry bear?"harry questioned liam to my adding irratation.  
"she is right here! and she has more then just a harry bear she has the whole band,liam"i said  
"Thats to cool" harry murmured taking the bear from me. i let him take it i mean its his bear. the rest of the boys took there bears and were inspecting them. it made me chuckle because they were each freaking about how they were realistic and how 'he even has the same color varsity jacket'. i turned away from them and walked to my closet. i had forgotten that i was going to have to practice in heels todaypulled a pair of jeans off a hanger and walked back to the screen and slipped my yoga pants off. as i jumped up and down to pull my skinnies on i thought of little things and a giggle escaped me. as i walked out from behind the screen i saw all the boys looking at me. i looked down.  
"im wearing pants this time so why are you guys staring at me" i asked  
"was that you?" niall asked his eyes wide. i looked at him wierdly  
"was that me what?" i was confused.  
"that giggled like that."louis supplied from his sprawled out position on my couch.  
"yeah"i said slowly "i laughed but are you sounding like i stole something"  
"your so cute!!!!!" niall said hugging me suddenly. inside i was fangirling like this.  
ermagosh niall horan is hugging me!!! urgh to many feels!!!!! i cant breathe!!!! im gonna die!!! he is still hugging me!!! ahhhh!!!! must teel tumblr world!!!! must keep cool!!!!  
when he let go i smoothed my shirt and tried not to squeel.  
"come on i need to practice." i said grabbing my black dance heels and ushering the boys out of the room. we made our way down the stairs past simons room and down back to the foyer. i walked into the kitchen, slightly feeling like a mother duck with little ducklings following me. i pushed open the door to the watch room and flicked the lights on. i stepped into the room and said  
"Welcome to the watch room."

Jacindas pov  
I love dancing. I feel so awkward normally that when I dance it’s like I’m graceful and beautiful. When Jake and I broke up I was heartbroken. He cheated on me. I couldn’t even understand why. Was I not good enough? Was I clingy? But what was worse was that he cheated on me with a girl that we both didn’t like. Now they go out with each other and I’m by myself. The worst feeling in the world is thinking that everything is okay in your relationship and finding out it’s not. It’s been a couple of months now and I’m sort of okay. But all my pain hurt and insecurities I placed into this dance. Demi Lovato has that effect on me. I let the words flow with my movements.   
I try to sever ties and I,   
Ended up with wounds to bind  
Like you're pouring salt in my cuts  
And I just ran out of Band-Aids  
I don't even know where to start

'Cause you can't bandage the damage,   
You never really can fix a heart…  
Harry’s pov  
I watched her dancing. The first song had been more sexy and provocative but this one… this one was beautiful. It expressed a pain that I had never felt before. With each spin and twirl I felt her trying to tell a story that was just beyond my grasp. But even though I didn’t know what happened to hurt her so bad I wanted desperately to fix it. The thought of her being sad was just heartbreaking. Just imagining her crying makes me angry, ready to hurt whatever dangers that have set out to hurt this beautiful girl that I had so recently fallen for.  
Nialls pov  
If I ever find the stupid twat that hurt her I will personally pound him royally and place him in front of the queen. She deserves to be treated like a princess and I would. I know I could if she was ready. I just have to get there before harry. I looked over at him.  
He was staring at her like he was mesmerized. I couldn’t blame him. She hypnotized. Me. I looked back down at her. She was dancing to a different song now. I listened to the words as well as watching her dancing. It felt like a song of hope, Almost like she was getting ready for something. With each move she made it made me smile. She was able to fill my heartr with a cautious type of joy. I haven’t felt like this in a while.   
As the song ended she turned around and looked up at us. I could feel my face turning red. Did she think we were weird for staring at her? I was about to turn away from the window when she called us down there. A smile on her face when she did a tentative wave to get our attention. I don’t think we could have moved faster down the stairs into the studio then we did.  
Jacindas pov  
I didn’t know whether to laugh or help them when they both slammed through the door and fell.

They stood up red-faced and I tried not to laugh but it slipped out. I walked over to them and fixed the collar to harrys shirt. I looked at niall and I giggled when he fell his hair got smashed to one side making him looked funny. I finger combed his hair back into place still laughing.  
“that wasn’t funny my bum hurts now” harry said. I turned to him.  
“well maybe you should walk down the stairs one at a time and you wouldn’t have that problem.” I said   
Harry pouted and niall laughed at him. I looked at them both for a minute. I was probably the luckiest directioner on earth right now. I was wit harry styles and niall horan in my dance studio.  
*happy dance and too many internally kept feels*  
“the reason I called you down her is because you guys looked bored and I thought you could stand in for the guys in my dance while I practice.” I said trailing off and looking down at the ground regretting my offer instantly. How many times in interview had they said that they don’t dance. How many times in videos have they shown that they don’t dance. Im pretty sure I saw zany in a shirt that said cool kids don’t dance. I am such a idiot.  
Harrys pov  
I was so embarrassed. I just fell flat on my face in front of the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. But it was definitely worth it because she came close and fixed my shirt. It took all of my self control not to crush her body to mine and kiss her like the world was ending. Then she asked us to dance with her. I don’t know if I could handle having appropriately with her that close to me. Does she really not know the effect she has on me. I looked at her as she stepped over and started fixing nialls hair. I felt a stab of jealousy in my stomach as I watched her small hand disappear into nialls blond hair. I wantd her to touch my hair. I want her to fix my stupid mistakes. I pouted when she giggled. I couldn’t help it. I wanted to be the reason she laughed. I wanted that cute girlish giggle to be for me. I wanted to capture it and keep it only for my ears. I wanted her.  
Nialls pov  
I could feel the jealousy radiating off of harry. I couldn’t help but grin. To top it off I looked at him and stuckmy tongue out at him when she wasn’t looking. When she looked down at the ground when she asked us to dance with her I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her I would do anything for her. Anything to make the small frown on her perfect full lips go away.  
“of course we would right harry” I said quickly hoping she would smile.  
“yeah of course!” harry said understanding how I felt and showing me he felt the same way.  
We were rewarded when she smiled. It was so dazzling that it took my breath away.  
“Really?” she asked her green eyes wide and innocent “you don’t have to if you don’t want to. I just thought you seemed a bit bored and you wanted something to do. You dnt have to say yes”  
“anything for you babe” I said and winked at her.


End file.
